A Hard Candy Christmas

A Hard Candy Christmas

Becca's Chava Chat

“We will all be challenged. Our trust … Our faith … Our friendships, but we must persevere.” -Obi-Wan Kenobi


Not ALL holidays are special. Sometimes they can be painful memories of what “once was” or even a bowl full of hard candy “might-have-beens.” In light of the holiday season, there are quite a few to choose from this time of year; each one adding a special element to its cultural traditions in order to bring loved ones closer together in a spiritual celebration. At least, I believe that’s the whole point, right? As for me, that holiday would be Christmas and, let me just say, not every Christmas is one to remember.

Pivotal Moments

We all have them, life changing events or pivotal moments, and they are the crucial elements to our life’s journey. Maybe that’s why Star Wars has always been a guiding force throughout mine, like an imaginary friend; always there…ready, willing, and able at a moment’s notice. As I’ve said before, I’d be lost without it.

Although Star Wars is “just a movie” (my husband’s words, not mine), it does contain real-life relatable attributes throughout the saga. Besides redemption and compassion (among the many), there’s also the hard-core life-lesson known as “life’s not fair.” And, well, sometimes bad things happen and only we can right the wrongs that come our way. For the paths we choose pave our destinies. There are countless scenarios that are played out, again and again, among our band of heroes. One example of this is in A NEW HOPE, when Leia offers words of comfort to Luke as Han flees the Rebel Alliance in order to settle his outstanding debts to the ruthless Jabba the Hutt.

Leia and Luke

“He must choose his own path; no one can choose it for him.” –Leia

Sometimes the ones we are closest to are the ones that hurt us the most, but we must persevere. Easier said than done, but we must have hope. Sometimes such beliefs feel so immensely unattainable or … next to impossible. When we’re young, we think we are indestructible or invincible, but there comes a time when the child must set aside childish ways and become an adult. It’s a moment of loss or a feeling of being lost …

Twenty years ago, I was the same age as Luke in A New Hope and Anakin in Attack of the Clones. And like them, I got my first real taste of what it meant to emotionally suffer. Yes, it was exactly one week away from Christmas and my heart was so full of hope, trust, and love. I was so sure it was going to be the best Christmas ever. See, my fiancé and I were set to be married in the new year; October 5th, 1995. Instead, I got the shock of a lifetime … he called it off, all of it. Even now, twenty years later, I remember that sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach and my mother’s arms wrapped tightly around me as I sobbed uncontrollably on our kitchen floor. I guess you could say I had quite the flair for dramatics back then.


Consequently, his decision set off a domino effect and, ultimately, others suffered as well. See when you’re young, you don’t realize what you do can easily effect others. Our relationship wasn’t just about “us,” it actually involved two whole families and lots of close friends. Much like Anakin and Luke, they didn’t suffer alone. In fact, all that they endured affected the galaxy as well. As Luke lost his Aunt and Uncle, he chose to join Obi-Wan in an idealistic foolish crusade against the Empire. When Anakin lost his mother, he allowed his anger to fuel his emotions, taking his revenge and avenging her untimely death. No, my pain was nowhere near the depths of theirs, but I did go through a grieving process that ultimately changed my perception of love altogether. Not entirely for the better.

winter stars

…maybe I’ll count the stars until dawn…Me, I will go on. –Dolly Parton (Hard Candy Christmas)

Whatever it is you celebrate this holiday season, I hope you find peace and love among all those you hold dear. For truly, there is no greater gift than that of friendship, love, and of hope for a better tomorrow.

With that, I dedicate this musing to a very special force in my life … thank you for being my confidant in the midst of all my inner darkness as of late. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without you.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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  1. Melinda
    December 21, 2014 at 13:54 Reply

    I thought, as a read and reread your blog, Becca, what an incredibly strong person you are. That fact shines through. 🙂

    Tom, Caitlin and I were talking just yesterday about how the events in one’s life helps shape who we are. It isn’t until (sometimes) years later when we look back over the course our lives have taken that we see which ones were pivotal … and which ones were not (although they may have seemed so at the time). For better or worse, the good, bad, shake-up-you-life, and miniscule moments help shape us.

    You are so right, Becca! 🙂 There’s always hope for a better tomorrow. Each of us just needs to see that there really can be — is — a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Christmas is wrought with so many expectations. Throw in a tablespoon of family strife, a cup of loss and a teaspoon of feeling alone, and it can be a very difficult time of year to get through. And if that isn’t enough to throw a damper on the season, memories, too, can cast a pall. It isn’t that I ignore these elements. I just choose to concentrate on the positive, hopeful factors that enter into the equation. I know … sometimes easier said than done. However, the mind is an incredible weapon. 🙂 It does have the power to believe in tomorrow, in hope. 🙂

    May you and your family have a most blessed, wonderful, beautiful Christmas and Happy New Year. 😀

    1. Becca Benjamin
      January 4, 2015 at 18:36 Reply

      Thank you, Melinda. As always, your words bring comfort to my inner woes. The ones I typically keep locked away and out of sight from the onlookers.

      Strong? Hmm…not so sure I would go with strong…but I do tend to persevere and … well, move on.


  2. Pam Bruchwalski
    December 22, 2014 at 10:15 Reply

    I’m a little confused as to whom you dedicate this blog, Becca (or maybe it’s just me…or that’s the way it’s supposed to be?? Sorry…), but you make a valid point in that many people suffer some sort of pivotal moment around the holidays at some point in their lives. There are just so many expectations at this time of year, as Melinda said. It’s far too easy for expectations, emotions, and hope to simply snap…and then there are deaths and illnesses and losses that seem so out of place, unfair, and downright cruel, especially around the holidays. Your experience, right before Christmas, must have been painfully magnified because of its timing.

    Still, I find that as I grow older, I have more hope, not less. Maybe it’s because I know better how life works. Until the day I die, which none of us, young or old, knows for sure, the sun will always come up again, and there is always a chance for some new adventure. Always.

    Merry Christmas!

    1. Becca Benjamin
      January 4, 2015 at 18:40 Reply

      The dedication…ah…yes, that. The person who it is/was intended for knows who they are and is/was ok with how it was presented 🙂 And yes, it was suppose to be that way lol!

      Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it…more than you know.
      Hope all is well with you and yours. xo

  3. Erica
    December 24, 2014 at 03:50 Reply

    Beautiful blog, becca. I really appreciate your honesty. Life is so full of challenges, but the ones that wake you up from youthful illusions are powerful.

    Hope this Christmas is more sweet than sour for you this year!

    1. Becca Benjamin
      January 4, 2015 at 18:42 Reply

      Thank you, Erica! Miss you! Hope you had a wonderful Holiday Season with your beautiful family xo

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Blogger for Coffee With Kenobi, Personal Author for Steve Anderson Lucasfilm Illustrator & Artist, & Featured Blogger, Administrative Consultant, Copy Editor for The Cantina Cast. * I'm just a simple girl, trying to make my way in the universe. *

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